We are likely to be coaching individuals on a number of occasions. The most popular structure is the coaching package of four, six or more sessions with the coachee, at regular intervals.
One of the most important things to decide is how to start session 2 (or 3, 4…). There are so many options that it is good to be clear on what you will do. And why.
Beginning the follow up coaching session: what is its purpose?
It’s session 2. The second proper time that we have sat with our coachee. The previous session went well. The coachee left with actions and has emailed to say how much they enjoyed the initial session. We now need to decide how to start this new session.
There are a number of purposes to the opening stage of a follow-up coaching session. These include helping to ease the coachee back into the coaching environment gently, re-establishing the norms of behaviour for both of us (the coachee talking, the coach listening), and reviewing thoughts, feelings and actions since the last meeting.
The first two are relatively straightforward. Experienced and new coachees will both be aware of their roles. These opening few minutes of chit-chat can help to get both back into role. The main approach is to be open and friendly (“How are you today? Are you okay for time?”) and to answer any questions the coachee may have, while keeping it brief and putting the talking back to the coachee as soon as possible. By the time both parties feel comfortable to be back in the room, roles will be firmly established again.
Checking in on actions: is this the coach’s role?
Until relatively recently, I considered it vital. My view has been that it is part of holding our coachee to account, gently but clearly, and also a real opportunity for the coachee to share openly, freely and possibly with excitement how things have gone.
But I have heard recently from a few experienced coaches that they don’t do this. The opposite view goes something like this: once the actions have been decided by the coachee, it is up to them to manage them. It is not down to the coach to check in, challenge or even enquire gently about them, as that would feel intrusive.
I’m not sure I agree with that viewpoint, but I do respect it. The concern is that reviewing actions could tip into a form of micromanagement. For those coaches, it is better to steer clear of asking about actions — although if the coachee brings them up, of course the coach will explore them.
If you think that exploring actions is important, read on for tips and ideas.
How to review the coachee’s actions
A few guidelines worth considering:
- Let them know in advance that you will be checking in on how they got on with their actions. I normally mention it in the first couple of emails before the next session.
- Remind yourself of the actions they committed to, both tangible actions and any reflections they were planning to do.
- After an initial catchup, start by asking how they got on. Be specific. Avoid generic questions like “How are things going?” and stick to “How did you get on with [specific action]?”
- As they share what they did, draw on a range of follow-up questions: what did they notice, what impact did it have, what strengths did they draw on, what did they learn from taking those steps.
- Avoid evaluating, praising or judging when they report back on successful actions. Put on your best warm face and ask a question, to encourage them to share their successes in their own words.
And if they haven’t completed their actions?
The one thing that frustrates me is when coachees say they can’t remember what their actions were. Not because they have failed somehow, but because it usually means I didn’t prompt them before the session to reflect on them.
If actions haven’t been completed, don’t worry. It is not a reflection on us as coaches, nor on them as people. What it can be is a learning opportunity. Useful questions include: was there a reason for not doing them (changed mind, decided they weren’t good actions, got scared)? What did they notice about themselves when they thought about the actions? What was the fear or concern? What do they learn from this?
If a coachee consistently returns without having completed actions, further challenge is necessary. But this is rare.
How to transition to today’s coaching topic
If you have an hour to coach and have used 10 to 15 minutes catching up and checking in on actions, there can be a temptation to rush into the topic. It is also easy for the actions discussion to drift into the session itself, which is worth avoiding if the coachee has brought a specific topic to discuss.
A few thoughts. Don’t start the clock until after the initial chit-chat (unless you have agreed an end time). Signal clearly, either verbally or with a physical movement, that the actions review is over and it is time to find today’s topic. You can either ask whether something from the actions discussion will become today’s topic, or ask whether that discussion can be set to one side and invite the coachee to choose a new topic for today.
Being clear and confident about when and how you make that transition adds real value to the coachee.
Final thoughts
This is an important area of coaching. Providing time and space to explore what the coachee has done and what they have learnt, encouraging reflection at every level, and managing the transition from actions to a new topic skilfully — all of these enrich the coaching experience. If you don’t yet have a clear process for starting sessions 2, 3 and beyond, try this and see how you get on. And do let us know.
If you’re a coach looking to frow your coaching business, and you think you could do with some help, please get in touch.
