Of all the debates in coaching, this one runs deepest. Most qualified coaches understand the difference between coaching and mentoring. And yet the question keeps surfacing: should a coach ever offer a bit of gentle advice, or a well-timed suggestion? The coaching literature is genuinely divided, with credible voices on both sides.
So let’s get into it.
What do we mean by giving advice in coaching?
Not all advice is the same. Sharing information (“do you know any good books on appraisal systems?”) is different from alerting a coachee to a serious risk or potential breach of ethics. Those situations are covered by our codes of conduct, and most coaches agree on how to handle them.
The tricky territory is more personal. Those moments when you, as a coach, have a strong sense of the answer. When you recognise the situation from your own professional background. When your inner voice is nudging you to speak up. This is the “advice monkey” at work, and it is something every coach has experienced.
The risks of not giving advice as a coach
In coach training, exploring the pros and cons of advice-giving is always one of the most interesting discussions. Arguments that come up in favour of sometimes giving advice include:
- It takes too long for the coachee to find their own answer
- The issue may remain unresolved
- The coachee is left sitting with discomfort for longer than necessary
- Organisations need consistency, and advice can help achieve that
- The coach has relevant expertise the coachee could genuinely benefit from
- It can feel rude to ignore a direct question
- There is a human instinct to share what we know
This is not a list to dismiss. There are real contexts where withholding advice can feel counterproductive, even unkind.
The benefits of a non-directive approach
The case for staying non-directive is just as strong, and arguably better supported by the core principles of coaching. Reasons coaches cite for not giving advice include:
- It builds accountability and ownership in the coachee
- Learning is deeper and changes are more likely to last
- The coachee becomes more self-sufficient over time
- It empowers the whole person, not just their response to one situation
- The advice a coach might give could be wrong, or more about the coach than the coachee
- The coachee may have already tried and rejected that approach
- It honours what was agreed in contracting
- It creates an equal, trust-based relationship
- The solution that emerges is specific to this person and their situation
As Sir John Whitmore put it: “Coaching is helping the coachee to learn rather than to teach them.” That sits at the heart of the non-directive argument.
Can a coach just switch to mentoring to give advice?
This is a question that comes up regularly in training: “Could I move into mentoring briefly, offer some guidance, then come back to coaching?” The intention is understandable. You are in a coaching conversation, you recognise something you could genuinely help with, and it feels natural to offer it.
The problem is the mixed message it sends. You will have told your coachee, either directly or implicitly, that coaching is their time and their space, and that the answers are within them. Switching to mentoring twenty minutes in undermines that. It suggests that the coachee can trust themselves to find answers, up to a point, but that the coach may have better ones.
If you want to understand the distinction more clearly, it is worth reading our post on what’s the difference between coaching and mentoring.
When is it actually OK for a coach to give advice?
There are exceptions, and they are genuinely rare.
The clearest one is when the coachee is about to take an action with serious negative, risky or unethical consequences. A school leader heading into a parent meeting without necessary safeguards in place. A healthcare professional planning to skip a protocol. In those situations, flagging the risk is the right thing to do.
There is also a case for intervening when the coachee is unaware of technical or legal information the coach happens to have. An HR-specialist coach who spots that a planned action contravenes employment law should say something. But this is an exception, not a licence to listen out for moments to add value.
Managing the temptation to give advice
Noticing the urge to give advice is a skill in itself. Most coaches are curious, engaged people with plenty of ideas, and the advice monkey can be active throughout a session. You might resist one impulse, only to have an even stronger idea five minutes later. Before long, the session has become an ideas exchange rather than a coaching conversation.
Learning to manage that tendency is something that develops over time and through reflective practice. Coaching supervision is one of the most effective ways to explore where advice-giving is creeping in and what it might be telling you about your practice.
If you are interested in how supervision supports this kind of self-awareness, take a look at our coaching supervision page.
So, should coaches give advice?
For qualified coaches in one-to-one coaching relationships: not in general practice, and yes in genuinely high-risk situations. That is the position that most coaching bodies take, and it is the one this post supports.
If you have noticed advice creeping into your coaching, that awareness itself is a good starting point. And if you disagree, you will find plenty of material in the coaching literature that makes a case for a more flexible approach. I am not going to tell you what to do with that, as that would rather prove my point.
If you are working towards a coaching qualification and want structured support for your practice, our ILM coaching qualifications cover everything from Level 3 through to Level 7. Get in touch to find out which level is right for you.
