In this solo episode, Charlie reflects on why it is that people are drawn to being coached, drawing from his experience as a coach, trainer, and supervisor. He explores [this important question, to help us all understand what it is that attracts people to want to have coaching.] He offers real-world insights and reflections to help coaches strengthen their confidence, grow their practice, and stay connected to their values.
Main Topics Discussed in the Episode:
In this conversation, Charlie reflects on the coachee experience, offering valuable lessons that can help you grow in your own coaching journey.
[Main Point 1] – what benefits coachees commonly experience
[Main Point 2] – the appreciation of being in the coaching environment
[Main Point 3] – having a coaching relationship that is different to pretty well every other relationship
[Main Point 4] – and making time for personal and professional development
Each story shared brings real-life insights that both new and experienced coaches can connect with and learn from.
Useful Links From This Episode:
Transcript:
Charlie Warshawski (00:05.272)
Hello fellow coaches. How are you doing? I hope you’re having a good day. I hope that all of your coaching is going well or all of you thinking about coaching, all of you are talking about coaching. Thank you for coming along to this episode. We’re in series one of the Love Your Coaching podcast and we are addressing this really important question. think why do people love their coaching? Today’s episode is one that I’ve thought about an awful lot over the years. And I think
It’s probably one that lots of coaches think about. And it’s this question, why do clients love coaching? Why do people enjoy signing up for coaching? It’s a challenging question. And I think a question that often is asked in quite formulaic ways. If you have to, for example, put on your website, you know, what benefits do people get out of coaching if you have to do things like fill in.
proposal or a project plan or something of that nature, we always have to address this question. What do people get out of their coaching? So this is not a whole podcast on return of investment and on metrics. It’s not any of that stuff. It’s talking really about loving coaching and seeing why people sign up for coaching and why people really enjoy it. And that is going to be our focus today. So I hope that’s all right. I hope that appeals to you and is of great interest.
thought we could start off with thinking about you and think about your own coaching. And when you’ve been coached, most coaches have been coached. Maybe it was in training. Maybe it was as you’ve developed your practice, you’ve got a coaching buddy or coaching pal that you work alongside with. Maybe your pathway into coaching was having been coached. We see a lot of that in coaches in training. They’ve been coached.
So they’re really interested in learning how to coach themselves. Whatever it was, what sticks with you? What sticks with you as a really good thing and a good experience for you, because presumably you must have enjoyed being coached, otherwise you wouldn’t want to be a coach. What sticks with me? I think what sticks with me is this whole idea of…
Charlie Warshawski (02:25.026)
Being able to talk to someone who’s not giving me ideas, who’s not giving me answers, who’s not giving me advice. And I definitely noticed over the years, if I am ever coached by someone who tries to do those things, I find it irritating and I sort of go there less. But I certainly remember being asked really strong and challenging questions in that type of, what’s stopping you? Or what beliefs have you got about yourself? Or what do you need to change?
Still remember the day 2017 it was in a room in Bristol and I was talking and my coach looked at me, listened to me talking, let me stop, let me breathe and they said to Charlie, do you want to change? And I was blown away. I’m still talking about that question eight years later because I clearly was presenting something that showed I probably didn’t want to change.and my coach very well picked that up. So I’ve started talking about myself, sorry about that. That’s not what I was trying to do. Let’s focus about, I was talking about me as a client. So let’s focus on our clients. Let’s focus on what people love about coaching. And perhaps the starting point can be what brought them to coaching in the first place. Some people get sent for coaching. Most people have chosen to come and have some coaching.
Perhaps they’ve heard about it from a colleague or a friend. Perhaps their organization has coaches and they offer some coaching. Perhaps it’s something else. The initial driver, I think sometimes can indicate what people like about their coaching, but I think it’s not everything. think often that people come for coaching thinking that they want A and they end up getting A and B and C, but it can be a good starting point.
And in my observation, most people who come in for coaching, they come because they are looking for a change. Might not know that they’re looking for a change, but change is in the air somehow. And it could be small change. It could be that they’ve got a relationship with their line manager that doesn’t work so well and they’re looking to change the dynamic there. could be really big change. I often hear people come in for coaching saying, I don’t know if I should stay in my job or my career.
Charlie Warshawski (04:50.84)
You know, do I need to have a big shift in my life? It could be a change in a way of being. So it could be like, I’m just a bit fed up with, I always work this way and I wish I worked that way, or I overthink something and that I find difficult. Or I know I’ve got loads of strengths, but somehow they don’t seem to come out those really important times. So I think change is really significant. And I think coming into coaching because people want
change or want to embrace some sort of change, think is really important and one of the strong reasons. I often think that people don’t buy into this narrative that we’re told, all change is difficult, all change is hard, people don’t like change. I think most of us experience lots and lots of change, but probably don’t quite know how to manage change and don’t quite know how to articulate it. So we always feel change is awkward. mean, there’s this
There’s not many things in life when you have to follow some sort of curve. The change curve is often compared with the grief cycle, isn’t it? The idea that that’s how you’re going to be looking at change.
Charlie Warshawski (06:07.736)
So I’m starting to talk about what people bring into coaching and maybe why they come in the first place. Why do we think people love coaching? I’m going to suggest that the number one thing is that coaching gives people a different experience to most other conversations.
If we think about that for a moment, I’m sure if we’re lucky, we’ll have people in our environment who do the things that coaches do. They listen to us, they give us space. They don’t judge us, they’re kind, they’re sensitive. They want the best for us. Lots and lots and lots of people do those things for us, don’t they? I’m sure if we’ve got good friends, if we’re in a good relationship, maybe if our children have some maturity, our parents.
Those people will give us those things. But I think it’s really, really unusual for someone who’s not a trained coach or similar to give us all of those things. So I think about it, I might go out for a drink with one of my closest friends and he will definitely show that he cares and he would definitely show he’s really interested and he’ll definitely avoid giving advice, I think. But…
He won’t ask many questions, but he will interrupt quite a lot, but he will go off on his own tangents from time to time. And that’s normal. That’s fine. We’ve gone out for a curry. There’s nothing wrong with that. And I think we can replicate that in lots of our lives. We’ll get some good stuff from some people, but we don’t get all of what a coach can provide probably from anyone else. So going into a coaching relationship and coming into a coaching session, it means that our client knows what we’re gonna do. They know we’re not gonna do actually. They know we’re not gonna interrupt. They know we’re not gonna give advice. They know we’re not gonna say, yeah, me too, you know, I’ve done that and let me tell you all about it. They know we’re not gonna do those things. They know it is 100 % their time. And what a lovely feeling that is, You know, the idea that you’re gonna come into a room and that person,
Charlie Warshawski (08:27.342)
is there for you, but still meeting you as an equal, but they are there 100 % for you. So that’s probably the starting point, isn’t it? The starting point is that we are there for our coachee, and that’s why our coachee likes coaching.
What’s next is what our coach, our client chooses to talk about. That’s another thing. I think that when we have lots of meetings, lots of conversations, we probably don’t choose what we really feel freely we want to talk about. We self-censor a bit. Maybe when we’re work with our line manager, there is an agenda. told what we have to talk about. We’re told what’s the topic on the table. And even
Perhaps in some of our personal conversations, we think, well, I could talk about that, but I don’t know if I should. And would that person be all right if I talk about that thing and maybe it’s all a bit icky or who knows? Or we’ve got doubts, we’ve got worries, vulnerabilities. So we might self-censor. And in coaching, certainly I think after the coaching relationship is well established, I think it’s likely that the coachee brings whatever they want to talk.
They bring things that they really want to work on. Things that would make a really, really big difference. And I think perhaps unlike therapy, they’re likely to bring positive things as well. I think they’re likely to bring opportunities. I had loads of coaching when people are saying, well, I’ve I’ve got, I’ve applied for a job and I’ve got an interview next week. And, and I want to think about how I’m going to get prepared for that. Or I’ve been given this opportunity or my first month in my new role.
These are all exciting, positive possibilities that people are bringing to coaching. And that’s wonderful, isn’t it? So we’re building up a bit of a picture, we? Building up this picture that people bring things to coaching that are important to them, that they’re likely to come to coaching because of change, and they’re likely to like coaching because it gives them a different experience from most other conversations that they have in their
Charlie Warshawski (10:41.612)
They’re my first three things I wanted to say. Perhaps think about it for yourselves. What do you think? What do you see? What can you imagine are reasons that people love their coaching? We’ll take a break now. Have a bit of thought. Maybe jot down a couple of notes. If you’re not driving a car or doing your gardening, think about what you think, why people come to coaching and why they love it. And we’ll be back in a moment.
Charlie Warshawski (11:37.059)
Welcome back. And we’re talking in this early episode about why our clients or our coachees love their coaching. You’ll notice I’m using those two words interchangeably. I’m really not sure what’s the right or what’s the best word. think I read so many pros and cons of, know, client sounds a bit too transactional, coachee maybe sounds a bit too jargony. I think coaching partner sounds not really clear enough.
we have to make peace, but I find I interchange client and coaching. So we’re thinking about what it is that they love about their coaching. I’m going to think of some specific examples. Obviously no names would be confidential, but I’m thinking about people who come to coaching to shift something because someone else has said that they think it’s a good idea. Typically in an organization, maybe a line manager has found out there’s coaching available and they’ve
sent their colleague for coaching. Now, if it’s done and it’s organized really well, that can turn from being like a negative, you need to sort yourself out experience, towards being a positive experience where the coach and the client really engage really well. A good experience and a skillful coach will be able to help their client navigate the difficulties of turning up with
with almost a flee in their ear from their line manager and be able to use the coaching really well, really well for their own benefit. There will be in later series a recording explaining about how you do that, how we organise coaching when there is a sponsor and particularly when there’s a critical sponsor. It’s a fiddly thing to do and quite advanced but useful.
Sometimes people come to coaching, even if they haven’t been directly told they’ve been implied or that they’ve developed a bit of an internal message that, yeah, they should be having some coaching. They should come along to coaching. So they’re already feeling, this is where I need to go and do my work. And they may be reluctant. Or they might bound into the coaching arrangement. They might skip into the room. They might be just delighted to be able to embark on this, maybe they’re prepared to spend money themselves, or maybe their organization is funding their coaching. And they’re really appreciative of this opportunity. So what I’m talking about here is the attitude, the attitude of mind that people come into their coaching. And I think we can see, can’t we, different attitudes can give different benefits. And what I’m saying is that even if people come in with a bit of a negative attitude, I think good coaches can help work that around.
So we’ve set the scene really for the reasons why people might engage in coaching in one way or another. What I haven’t started talking about yet is a benefit. And this is a really big thing, isn’t it? And I’m sure when we ask our clients for feedback or a testimony is written, that’s probably the first thing that they’re gonna go to. People write and say, because of the coaching, I have been able to do.
X or I’ve been able to achieve Y or I can see the world in Z a different way. I do tend to think it’s not because of the coaching. think it’s a combination of the coaching and the relationship and the courage that the client has taken to work on themselves and to push themselves on. I think that those things are important. But the fact that change has happened and people have grown and people have developed
and people have overcome challenges or been able to really look at something that they didn’t think was possible and being able to do that thing. That is, think, what people get. I listen to, on average, 10 to 15 coaching sessions a week, and I’ve done that for about a decade. So, do the masses. Thousands, isn’t it? Thousands and thousands of hours of coaching. And I definitely hear and I notice this change. I definitely see coaches
have a completely different viewpoint at the end of the hour, or maybe at the end of the coaching relationship when they’ve had four or six sessions. And this sense of combination of relief that they have, the appreciation that they show for their coach, and also the things that they do. I would quite often listen to a coaching session that a coach in training has sent us, and it’s maybe session three.
Charlie Warshawski (16:20.906)
And the coachee left at the end of session two saying that they were going to go and do A and B and C. And they come back at the beginning of session three and they’ve done those things and they’re full of joy and they’re full of delight. I remember this one I heard not long ago and the coachee, they were setting up their small bakery business, home delivery bakery business. They didn’t have any clients, didn’t have any clients, didn’t have any clients. And They left the coaching session saying, I’m going to get a client. I’ve got one lined up and I’ve got a job and they’re very excited about it. They came back to the next session. First thing the coach said was, how did you get on with that client? And the person’s face lit up and they said, well, goodness me, it was Saturday. It was raining, but I got myself all organized and I had a tray of what they’d ordered for me. And I took it to the door and the client was so appreciative. And I handed it over to them.
And then they said, they said, I’m 57 years old and I skipped back to my car. Thank you.
Now don’t get many moments like that, do you?
And this coach handled it really well and they said, no, it was you, wasn’t it? You did this. What was that like? Tell me about it. So you can imagine, can’t you, this coachy getting ready to come to their coaching session, having had that wonderful experience, wanting to thank the coach, but then also the coach giving them the time to be able to work out that they themselves have done this incredible thing. That’s just one of many, many, examples we can see of.
why people love coaching.
Charlie Warshawski (18:02.456)
So we can cite small examples like that, someone skipping to a car. We can cite big examples of someone using coaching for a job interview and then getting the job. That’s probably the most tangible thing that we can see, can’t we? We can use examples of people coming to coaching, talking about a really, really difficult conversation. It’s probably about the third or fourth most common theme that comes up in coaching. I’ve got to speak to…
my friend, my colleague, my child, my partner, my line manager, a customer, and I’m petrified. And the coach isn’t teaching them what to do. The coach isn’t telling them what to do. The coaches are asking them good questions. saying, you know, what’s the worry? Talk about the worry. What do think you already do well in these things? Have you ever done something like this? How do you think you might handle it if it goes a bit wobbly? And
Our coach, talks about those things and they leave the room and they go and have that conversation and it’s brilliant or it’s not brilliant, but they come back and they say, well, I had the conversation and this is what I’ve learned. And knowing that they can do that without having to go on a training course or read that 500 page book about the fears conversation, it’s a joyous thing to be able to hear.
So I’ve cited a few examples of what people love and what people really enjoy about their coaching. And I hope you’re getting a little bit of a picture. I do think it’s really important for us as coaches to be able to say this stuff. And I do think it’s really important to be able to measure what is working in coaching. And I think having good processes for that, I think it can be reassuring. This is not just getting a lovely fluffy quote for our Instagram. This is about
being a client, being able to look and see how they’ve grown and how they’ve changed from the coaching process. And it’s good for if you have your coaching is booked by an organization because you can see and you can say to the organization, the coach, she came in here and they moved out there and they’ve grown in this way and their self evaluation is or, or the feedback is or the report is the pre and post shows a difference.
Charlie Warshawski (20:21.42)
Having those tangibles is really, really important. But having the feeling and having the growth is equally, equally important. So I hope you’ve been finding this useful and I hope that you’ve been thinking about your own clients, your own coaches, and perhaps you’ve had similar experiences to what I’ve described as ways and reasons that people have benefited from their coaching. And perhaps you’ve got different things. Perhaps you’ve noticed something that I haven’t mentioned as reasons that people
love their coaching with you. Write them down, think about them, share them with someone else, put them on a post, ask your clients, make sure that you get really clear on this because I think as coaches being really clear on why our clients love coaching, I think it’s a great thing and I think it can give us a boost. It’s a funny profession coaching isn’t it? We’re on our own so much of the time and in our head so much of the time. So without
looking desperately for feedback, knowing and being able to reflect on what our clients get out of coaching and what they love about coaching, I think can be a super, super important thing. Do let me know what you think. Put some notes in the comments. We will definitely share some ideas and some resources and signpost to some of our return on investment stuff that we do provide, we’ll use when we are coaching.
Enjoy thinking about this. Enjoy being proud of being part of this coaching community that allows you to help people because that’s what we do as coaches, help other people. Enjoy your week, enjoy your coaching, enjoy working with your happy, successful clients. See you next time. Happy coaching.
About Charlie:
I’m Charlie Warshawski, a UK based coach, coach trainer and supervisor. Coaching has been my thing since 2007 and I’ve been keen to start this podcast, to help fellow coaches navigate the difficulties of running a coaching business or practice. Most of my coaching takes place in education and I love coaching school leaders. And most of the supervision I do is with coaches who are starting their coaching practice.
Since 2019 I’ve been supporting new and experienced coaches with resources to help them grow their business – our free The Sustainable Coach programme is available to all coaches, and over 200 coaches have accessed these resources.
Away from coaching, four children, three pets, a poor table tennis and cycling schedule and a thirst for language learning all keep me busy.
Love Your Coaching Resources:
- Visit our website
- Learn more about our courses and coaching qualifications
- Contacts: charlie@loveyourcoaching.com | hello@loveyourcoaching.com| 01306 264026 | 0774 8515189
Rate and Review the Podcast:
If you enjoyed this episode of The Love Your Coaching Podcast, please take a moment to rate and review it on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Your feedback really helps more coaches find the show and join our growing community of reflective practitioners.