That is the great first question to ask, isn’t it? There are many approaches to leading, and thousands of books about how to be a leader. And plenty of arguments against being a coaching style of leader. (Was Alexander the Great a coach? Joan of Arc? Henry Ford? All no!).
Daniel Goleman’s insightful book Emotional Intelligence put the role of emotions on the map in the modern era. And he followed this with his reflection on the emotionally intelligent leader. One of the six leadership styles he named was the coaching style. If it’s good enough for Daniel Goleman….
Default doesn’t mean always
The first, and probably the most important point is that having coaching as a default style doesn’t mean that you only coach, all day, every day. Every good leader will know that there are moments where being decisive or directive is very important. People who argue against a coaching style will say “what about when tough decisions need to be made? Coaching doesn’t work then.” And that’s the point. Coaching styles of leader coach when appropriate, and are more directive when appropriate.
What does it mean?
There is no formal definition of what a coaching style of leader is, so we’ve put one together. Something like this:
A coaching style of leader is able to access core coaching approaches of questioning, listening, pausing and respectful challenge. They are comfortable in letting their team members find their own conclusions, work through challenges and take responsibility for their own development. And they know when to move from a coaching approach to a more directive approach.
Think about all of the managers or leaders you have had in your career. Have you worked for anyone who was like that? I was employed between the ages of 14 and 41, and probably had 20 bosses or managers. None worked that way, or even remotely that way. Apart from one head teacher, who really gave us our freedom to be autonomous. It was such a breath of fresh air. And so unusual that I struggled to believe it, and had to keep checking in!
Discrete coaching or coaching style?
There are probably two ways of being a coaching style of leader:
- Using coaching skills in everyday conversations with team members, in managing meetings and group activities
- Offering 1:1 coaching in private, normally organised in advance, i.e. operating as the team member’s coach
Clearly, the second approach takes a fair amount of time and focus to learn how to do well. We have trained hundreds of managers and leaders to coach in this way, and they pretty well all choose to offer 1:1 coaching to their team members.
The more widespread approach of using coaching skills in everyday conversations probably needs a lower level of coaching skill and experience, but still takes time to learn. Quite a few authors (Julie Starr, Jonathan Passmore, Jenny Rogers), write books and articles about how to use coaching to lead teams.
And it is important, whichever approach is being taken, to be skilled at it. It’s not enough to simply not offer advice (which, by the way, isn’t that simple!) and to ask “what do you think?” Our team members deserve more than this.
Little or often
The important thing for leaders with a coaching approach is to decide how often to use their coaching approach. Again, there are a range of options, including:
- At weekly check ins with team members
- Whenever team members come with the “have you got a few minutes” question
- When wanting to talk through a project, an initiative or an upcoming event
- When planning to delegate activities
- When noticing that a colleague is struggling
There is often a direct correlation between how skilled and confident the leader is in their coaching style as to how often they will use this approach. A very confident coach will be able to tap into their coaching on a regular basis. A leader who has just started to learn coaching skills may not always remember, may not feel confident in their coaching approach, and may be put off if they think a coaching conversation doesn’t go well.
All of this is encouragement to invest in your coaching skills, to be able to do it well.
Benefits of a coaching style
There are many, for all the people involved:
For the team member
- A sense of being heard. No one ever complained about a leader who just listened too much
- Autonomy in their own thinking and decision making
- The opportunity to reflect more and work through thorny issues
- Knowing that they are trusted, fully, is a huge motivation for many people
- And appreciating that there is a safety net, and that they can still ask for guidance or more directive support from their leader. Trust is at the heart of this, and it’s something we explore further here in “Do leaders have to have a coaching approach?“
For the leader
- Seeing their team members develop, believe in themselves and grow professionally
- Seeing work be completed more thoroughly and with a sense of ownership
- Not getting overloaded by taking on everyone else’s problems
- Knowing they have a range of leadership styles, of which coaching forms a part
- Using coaching approaches in a wider context too, with colleagues, their own managers and in other aspects of life
We often hear leaders say that they have become better at their job, feel more relaxed, and enjoy work more. This is a big deal!
Final words
In our coaching training we are clear that it is beyond our remit to tell people to become coaching styles of leaders. Most people who train to be coaches want to do the 121 sessions, in private, as coaches. But so often leaders take it upon themselves to use their coaching skills not just in their coaching sessions, but throughout the week. And they speak of it in such a positive, empowering way, that it can’t be ignored. Using coaching has so many benefits – try it if you lead a team and see what you notice.
