Have you ever been asked “are you an optimist or a pessimist?” We probably all have at some point.
And the assumption behind the question is that this will be a window into our soul. Knowing if someone is optimistic or pessimistic means we know what makes them tick, and how to help them, right? Perhaps, or perhaps not.
This article is about one of the strongest ideas to come out of psychology in the last 50 years – that of learned optimism. I’m basing it on the writings of Martin Seligman, who wrote the book of the same name, and who is behind this idea. It has huge implications for coaches.
Background to learned optimism
This was a theory whose time was ripe. By the end of the 1950s, the dominant thinking in psychology was that of behaviourism – the idea that we are all motivated by the reward/punishment or pain/pleasure duality. Seligman was interested in exploring that and was aware that psychology was moving towards a less diagnostic and more explorative approach.
His research started in the 1960s and still continues, based out of the University of Pennsylvania.
Helplessness can be learned
His early experiments, first with animals (unfortunately) but then with people, showed that even when there is the possibility of avoiding difficult circumstances, sometimes people stayed with them. The classic experiment would show there was a negative consequence to leaving a room (pain for the animal, some form of punishment for a human). But then the consequence was removed, and still, they would not leave. Helplessness had been taught.
Luckily enough, Seligman and his team saw the positive opportunity here. If helplessness can be taught, so can the reverse. And this set of a chain of events, showing that optimism can be taught in the same way that any skill can be.
The three Ps of optimism or helplessness
These are the three behaviours that indicate whether we are currently operating from an optimistic or helpless state. They all relate back to areas such as self-control, self-management and belief. They are best represented in a grid.
Learning to be optimistic is more than just bland positive thinking. There is a practical and pragmatic approach to it.
And hopefully this table sees how optimistic people may find it easier to navigate some of the complex bits of life.
Is optimism always the right approach?
There are times when being an optimist may not be the most helpful approach. This is when “blind optimism” takes over, and there isn’t enough rigour. We want our airline pilots, train drivers and doctors to not be ruled by “no need to check – I’m sure nothing will go wrong”. No, we want them to be exploring all the what ifs and look to predict and therefore avoid bad outcomes.
But generally speaking, optimism gives people a greater opportunity to develop, grow and sustain a strong state of mind.
Seligman recounts a year long experiment he carried out with a large sales team. Previously they recruited the team of hundreds of salespeople for their technical skills. This was gruelling work, doing door to door sales, and about 50% of the team left each year. On Seligman’s advice, they changed the recruitment focus to recruit for optimism. They figured that only optimistic people would cope with the day in, day out rejection when pounding the pavements.
And they were right. Far fewer people left, and optimism prevailed.
What are the implications for coaches?
For now, let’s focus on our coachees. If we can identify whether they are optimistic or more pessimistic, we may be able to support them better. Some things to consider doing.
- Hearing their default: Listen to the language they are using. How do they map out to the 3Ps? If they are evidently showing a helpless approach, you can slow down, stop pushing them to their solutions, and start exploring more deeply what this means for them
- Avoiding the “yes but”: If we know that our coachee doesn’t see themselves or the world optimistically, there is little point in pushing them towards the “what’s stopping you from doing xxx?” type of approach. It is likely to get rejected. Wiser is to spend that bit more time exploring what the obstacles are
- Holding up a mirror to them: Most people aren’t fully aware of their own map of the world. If your coachee is saying lots of “I can’t/my fault/not fair/I’ll never” type of language, it’s worth reflecting this back to them. No judgement in your reflection – just the opportunity to explore. If optimism can be learned, the coaching room is as good a place as any to learn it.
- Exploring change: Again, the belief that we can change our presenting style may be new to our coachee. We don’t want to make them wrong for seeing the world and themselves in this way. But we do want to help them explore whether change is necessary. So, we may ask “does this approach help you?” and if it doesn’t, we may ask about their beliefs about change. This can lead to a great opportunity for progress.
Learned optimism connects closely to growth mindset, another evidence-based framework that has a lot to offer coaches. I wrote a blog post on this that you might find useful – you can read it here – coaching and growth mindset.
Learned optimism – things for coaches to be aware of
Firstly, it’s not as binary as presented. People don’t neatly fall into the A or B camps. Plenty of people may be optimistic in some areas, and less so in others. So be aware of the false labelling trap. You’ll know that from reading a Myers Briggs or Insights profile – systems that love to pigeonhole.
Next, think about potential positive reasons that people are presenting in a less than optimistic style. There may be some strong reasons for doing so – perhaps a protective reaction to lots of criticism or setting the bar low as a bit of a survival mechanism. And perhaps your coachee has found a positive, workaround method that means that they can get by ok without needing to change. So, it’s important to tread carefully when exploring this.
And the most important is to not confuse optimism with positive thinking. This isn’t about just drawing out a positive comment and encouraging our coachee to start thinking more positively. This is not likely to be sustainable. Accept that where your coachee is at is what they are used to, and that change normally needs plenty of exploration.
Final words
Learned optimism is a powerful, evidence-based way of understanding how many people experience the world. It is well worth having a deeper understanding about this as coaches, and I recommend Seligman’s book of the same name. He has written extensively about this, and the University of Pennsylvania website has plenty of resources too.
And not mentioned in this article, but perhaps some work for us to do as coaches is to think about our own presenting style, as to how optimistic we might be.
If this topic has sparked your curiosity about the psychology that sits behind coaching, I explore this more fully in a blog post I wrote on whether coaches need to be experts in human behaviour.
Happy coaching
If you were stimulated by this article and want to know more about how to use coaching for your career, your organisation or your life generally, then get in contact. Email us at charlie@loveyourcoaching.com or book in a time for a 30-minute phone or Zoom call
We look forward to hearing from you!
